“Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. But that doesn’t mean I can’t take it. It seems that we keep sabotaging ourselves, that we keep doing things that keep us apart despite the love that everyone can see. Isn’t it enough? We are perfect together, we get along as no one and I feel safe and relieved, as if I am by your side happiness will live with us forever. Like anything can destroy us. But then I think about myself without you. I’m not the same, of course, but it’s still me. I still like it, to be on my own, feeling that I’m not attached to anything. Or anyone.
Sometimes I think it is too selfish, that I’m so concerned about myself that I forget you also deserve to be happy and do what you want. But I’m not ready, honey, not yet. Taking another step – and it’s ironic, because physically we can’t move forward – could destroy us.. I don’t know what I feel. I’m a mess; feelings come and go as if they were the same wind. Emotions pass by my head and heart as the train that should take me to you. I don’t know what I feel. Besides, I know I love you.”
I wrote it months ago.. now I'm with him and I'm the happiest girl ever. How change things, right?